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Episode 10 (the final episode of the first season): Green Baboons
Well the mist carried Kumba far almost for a month maybe? We couldn’t seem to find him so sorry to all of our loyal fans it was impossible to write anything without the main character. We now have the power; we now have this character. This time we find our hero in the jungles of didgeridoos next to the jibber jabber forest, and across the street from Chopstick town. Kumba appears to be looking for something … what’s that is it an ineffable baboon? Why yes it is, we now join the show all ready in progress. YAO MING YAO MING YAO MING!!!!! Do your thing if you r like Ming.
So we see the tiger with his straw hat on standing up in all his glory. We see Kumba Moses walk through the brush cutting it down with his knife while he is dressed in a Indiana Jones outfit ( looking very fashionable we might add ). The tiger waves at Kumba Moses and tells him to sit down on the ground. Tiger: “Before you leave there is something I must tell you… Yat, y, sam, Microphone testing 1-2-3, In the place to be…whusup everbody? My name is Tai Mai Shu! and I am going to be rapping for u today jus' a lil' freestyle, but first and foremost i’d like to thank Roadie style beyond compare for getting my belt back and helping me promotion my skills…and in return i will teach them how to make one million dollars, And when you hear it you be like wow! I don't believe! So simple! no skilled involved at all I could've thought of that my self and then u be like what? What the hell? I don't believe! Check it out though…” The tiger then points at the green baboon and then the baboon brings out a boom box and starts randomly dancing. After a few minutes the baboon clears his throat and says, “We will fight alone just as we used to do in those days, alright, fight just like we used to.” The tiger then jumps up on a stage and grabs a mic and chants, “all my real chinese throw your hands up throw your hand up, all my real live chinese
people throw your hands up hong kong people throw your hands up throw you hands up throw your hands up, chinese people, japanese people, every people throw them hand up!” The tiger disappears of the screen and then his head pops out and he says, “we wire! I am a warrior! we flashing on them! i got 4's 4's so u kids don’t going. i am real hard! peace outside! damn u! U know what im say…” then the tiger leaves the screen. Soon the camera focuses on Kumba Moses and he drops his head in sorrow. We see him walking off, by himself looking very sad, into the distance. As he is walking the incredible hulk appears and put his arm around Kumba Moses and comforts him (* incredible hulk ending plays*). All of a sudden the Hulk goes crazy and attacks Kumba Moses. The camera fades away and then we see Kumba in a hospital bed with the sound of the heart rate monitor beeping. Soon the camera zooms into the heart rate monitor as you hear a long beep as the monitor shows a flat sign. The flat sign turns into the outline of the surface of the sand. We soon see Kumba Moses dragging his feet along and the camera zooms out so that we finally see our hero hunched over holding the huge McDonals’ M logo. Next the evil Hitler Ronald McDonald is seen pointing into the horizon. Finally, we see our brave hero carrying the big M until he disappears into the distance where the sun is setting…(*soothing music plays*)
Well that is how our first season ends… tune in next season to hear more about the epic story of our great hero KUMBA MOSES!!!
See you next time!
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| Episode 9: Knowledge is POWER!
Its time for some new heroes… Its time for Tom Cruise~! Tom Heroes! Tommmm Heroes! (* clearing throat *) sorry had a little accident with the script it said Tom… yea sorry about that. Its very clear that Kumba Moses has grown in many ways but do you know what would be random… If he lived in Kenya. So guess what people, he does ha bet you didn’t know that! Ha Ha Ha Ha…. Uh yea but he left Kenya so that really doesn’t even matter now. Ok back to this epic. When we last left our loser, he was in a sleigh, a freaking sleigh now how sad is that a mean wow. Ok well he was, and now he is in the middle of Russia. Around Moscow near the ice caps and the snowy mountains. Near Ye Olde Mountain 253 sector 5 divisions 23 part 3. Wow there is a lot of Ye Olde Mountains. That is sort of strange, well back to the story. He moved on from Russia because of the Russian accents… wow those people are freaking weird man. Now finds himself in China near Peking.
Shaman King!!! Shoaling Showdown and people started eating Kumba because he looked so delicious….mmmm bears….. Well that never happened…. Anyways, Kumba was on his quest in which the tiger sent him on. Kumba remembered what he said about the treacherous journey (*flashing back*…*and the pimp snowman with his cane yells: FLASHBACK!!!*) Flashback: Tiger, “It will be treacherous…” Next Kumba walks on in the deep snow. “Wait a sec… Kumba thought, “I see snow…” (*Kumba then falls asleep for a day and finds himself in a temple with a giant Buddha statue in the center. Kumba Moses was very confused but then the Buddha statue and him fought and Kumba Moses eventually won. He almost lost because of Shiva and Nirvana was on Buddha’s side. Then something came out of the Buddha. Kumba Moses backed away and pulled out his staff, but the figure stopped him and then the shadow of the figure formed, and Kumba Moses was frightened. When the random mist disappeared Kumba Moses did not see anything until he stumbled upon a little gold dragon. The dragon spoke and said, “I am the great, golden dragon called MOO HOO!” Kumba Moses looked at the dragon and then burst in laughter… The dragon then closed his eyes and an energy field appeared and grasped Kumba Moses. “Do you want to pass this test or not?…” Kumba Moses thought about that question for an hour and then said yes… So the dragon trained the Kumba Moses. First it was sunny and they fought each other. Next it was Snowy and they were going to meditate but Kumba Moses fell asleep. Then the weather made flowers appear and he learned to cut the flowers in one blow. Then the leaves changed colors and Kumba Moses learned the art of balance, and when the new Yorkers invaded he learned to kill them. “Weird weather we’re having eh?” Kumba said to the Dragon. “Yea, but if you think today was bad, yesterday was worse!” replied the dragon. The next day the dragon left Kumba Moses alone to test his new skills. After the day was almost over the dragon came back and told Kumba, “Knowledge is power…” And then Kumba Moses realized what he meant and his fur turned golden and his muscles became large and he himself were mightier too… Then a mist appeared and a magical force was now carrying off Kumba Moses… “You have passed the test, now go back to the tiger, he is expecting you…” said the Dragon’s Voice. “I don’t understand!” said Kumba Moses. “You will,” whispered the Dragon.
And Kumba Moses was off with the mist carrying him, towards the tiger… | | |
| Episode 8: The Canadian Rebel
My father told me many stories….. I don’t remember them but that is why I am telling you this one. When we last our hero… Hero eh … (*Sonic Heroes, Sonic Heroes…. music plays) ok like we were saying when we last left, our hero was back in the place he met that tiger (not a hippie). There was a Canadian in the background as you can see… All of a sudden the Canadian said, “I am a rebel and I like hockey eh”. He also wanted to give a shout out to the movie pirates out there but a director shot him in the back. So that is the end to this pointless story forever… it’s over… the main character died there is no point.
Well maybe we can go on without that Canadian and his shady doings…
Anyways back to the Kumba Moses story…So our hero finally past his “test” (flashbacking to last episode) yea…that was cool…Anyways we see the tiger (not a hippie at all) in a black cloak and wearing black sun glasses and sitting on BIG, COMFY COUCH (Big comfy couch song plays) and Kumba sat in the thinking chair (Thinking Chair song plays). Suddenly Kumba Moses was startled as he noticed a little girl on the big comfy couch. Kumba shouted, “Eh mister Tiger...what’s that over near you?” Then the tiger looked around and yelled, “Where?...Where..?” (Tiger looks to his left. He noticed the little girl sitting next to him and humming a little tune. Then the tiger pointed and said in a goofy voice, “Your not suppose to be here!!!...” The little girl immediately giggled and skittered into the couch like a lizard spider. “Now that’s better,” the tiger said and continued, “Where was I?...Oh yes, the pills…” (The tiger reaches into his trench coat and pulls out two pills) The tiger then said, “I present you with a choice, The red pill will send you back to your frail little mind where you were just plain old Kumba, you know just a small little bear dancing in the rain.” (Kumba sat pondering in his thinking chair with scuba steve by his side) The tiger interrupted Kumba Moses’s thoughts by saying “Or, you can take this PURPLE PILL! Where you can be the almighty Kumba Moses! (fast speaking announcer: mild side affects may occur including diarrhea, nausea, drowsiness, and even sexual side affects may occur. Ask your doctor if the PURPLE PILL sounds right for you. Also this pill will not make you any mightier than you already are. This will just make you happy and maybe, if your lucky, cool like Calvin Coolage) Kumba Moses sat there thinking to himself ‘Mighter eh?...I didn’t catch the last part but I am sure it isn’t important’ The tiger sat calmly crossed armed and said which will it be, as he presented the bear the two pills. The bear was hesitant, but he finally chose the purple pill after his doctor’s consent (which is no one…). When Kumba Moses took the pill the whole room seemed to change as the tree turned to pines, snow fell, and the tiger was now in a sleigh with a big red bag. Kumba Moses looked at himself now and noticed he was in a green suit (like an elf). Kumba Moses then jumped into the sleigh and both the tiger and him rode off into the night's sky. Then all of a sudden the little girl, who was once in the couch, popped out of the bag and said …
“….MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL GOOD NIGHT!...”
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Kumba Moses Productions. | | |
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Episode 7: The Funny Green Elf
We continue our journey with Kumba at the little village of Elmer. All of a sudden skinny samurai appeared with two New Yorkers in his palms. The elves were frightened since the New Yorkers might try to sell them some useless product. The Samurai immediately shook his palms and out they dropped. With a shout and yell the New Yorkers started saying some New York phrase that of course know one understood. Kumba was puzzled… with pieces which for some reason would not fit. So while the elves were buying some useless products Kumba sat down to finish his puzzle. When he was done he shouted “Jumpin Ja-ho-sa-phat Yee Haw!” The New Yorkers were so confused that in there dismay they traded the entire Yankees team to the Red Sox. When they realized what they had done the returned to their master. THE ALMIGHTY ONE called GEORGE STIENBRIENER. The elves rejoiced with a yip and a yaw. Then a funny green elf came out of the crowed and did a little dance. As the Samurai watched he came over to Kumba. “Kumba I am the hippie tiger that appeared before, you have passed my test.” All of a sudden the tiger ripped off his cloak took out his swords and slaughtered all of the little elves. Kumba then said, “Why did you do that?” The tiger replied, “I did this because it had to be done and it could not have happened any other way….” Then the village disappeared before Kumba’s eyes and he became familiar with his surrounding because it was the same spot he had met the hippie tiger before.
A confusing episode if you ask me.
Well there is only one thing to do now…..
Dance! (* everybody dance now song plays *)
Elves are cool?
A samurai tiger…wait I thought he was just a wise old tiger, but now he is back to a hippie and a samurai WARRIOR!?
Ya that’s how it goes eh.
Canada is a funny place
So tune in next time if you are Canadian or just a regular hermit. | | |
| Episode 6: Bears Bears Bears
“One day there was a guy who I met. He was cool and he was tall. That’s all boney in the honey. Mmm… honey and money and runny. Winnie the pops likes my socks and he thinks Chest Nock is hot.” This is what the little mean tiger yelled with meld. Not really…I was making up some fake stuff until the writers were back…So the legend continues…We last left our hero with the hippie tiger and the clay dog. Well the tiger really wasn’t a hippie at all, just an old tiger who has seen to many Cais’ in his days. Anyways Kumba Moses got up and stared down the tiger. They had a staring contest for 40 days and 40 nights. Until a flood occurred and they died…Yea that’s the story…That’s is the legend…A bear and tiger died from a staring contest… No not really just thought that would be “cool”. Well they didn’t die but had that 40 day and 40 night staring contest. The wise tiger won and then yelled to Kumba Moses: “Show me your moves!” The bear grabbed his staff, pointed it to the sky, and yelled back: “Let there be KITES!!!” All of a sudden kites came out of nowhere and they flew all around. As the kites flew electricity hit them. The kites vanished and gummy bear, gum drop bears, detergent bears on commercials, bears with heart shapes on their stomachs, hair bears, down-he bear, Winnie the bears, and midgets. As the bears and a midget, they lined up in single file. Soon drums fell from heavens and were handed to a few selected bears. The bears took the drums and played “The Teddy Bear March”. (*Teddy Bear March playing*). Bears danced around like some clowns. Then they just disappeared. The tiger laughed until he cried. He regained himself, and was about to say something to Kumba Moses, but couldn’t resist and just laughed. The tiger became serious and said: “Ah you skill lacks, but you technique is good, but you, you just stink!...I mean come on…dancing bears that don’t attack…you have much to learn my friend…”
Why is this episode so long?
How the heck did Kumba Moses summon kites and bears?
Is the tiger a hippie or not?
What does the tiger exactly mean?
Why was bear, bears, bears, and just one midget?
Find out next time on Mihir Pendese…Wait I mean Kumba Moses | | |
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